Posts Tagged With: future

Break Up or Break Down

Eight months ago, I found myself in the perpetual misery we all know as a “break up.” I’ve been through several of them throughout my years, but this one was that one heartbreak that tears you down and makes you think in terms of only every present loathsome moment that you are in, rather than being able to foresee any future. I consider myself a strong, independent woman, yet there I was…confounded by anguish and grief, completely incapable of envisaging everything else that I lived for that made me who I am. My goals, hopes, plans, and dreams disappeared from my mind as if he took them with him. Three years with a man I had once considered spending my life with ended abruptly, and suddenly I did not know myself any more. While studying psychology in college, I came across a quote that I have never forgotten:

“Depression is the inability to construct a future.”  happy

That quote successfully concentrates a medical illness characterized by a magnitude of symptoms into one absolute sentence, which I find to be brilliant. When you’re depressed, you can’t imagine that things will get better. It just seems like it is unattainable, or so far from happening that you bask in your agony. I went through hell for months, crying myself to sleep at night, avoiding people, and going through the motions. One day, I looked in the mirror and no longer recognized myself. I focused on making changes and with those changes, I slowly began to reach the surface from the depths that I had allowed myself to drown in for months. I now refer to “break ups” as “break downs,” because it makes much more sense.

The best way to get over someone is not to jump to someone else, or allow yourself to reach the point that I did; the best way to get over a “break down” is to muster up every ounce of strength in your being and focus on constructing your new future.


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